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4 Different Kinds of Sex

Without a doubt, no other time in the recorded history of the world has there been such vast access to things sexual. Sex is supra-ubiquitous. I think we can all agree that Victoria no longer has a secret. Anything sexual you ever wanted to see as well as anything you wished you had never seen are out there and can be effortlessly accessed by the brief tap of a button.

But all this sex does come with a price. Loss of time. Loss of energy. Loss of intimacy. Loss of productivity. And sometimes loss of job and loss of a marriage. It seems that flooding the inter-waves with more sexual images still doesn’t make a person more intelligent sexually. It might even be that one gets lost and even numbed by the constant stimulation. Stimulation promises satisfaction but often leaves one deadened and unfulfilled.

Of all the body’s functions, nothing is quite as gratifying and all-consuming as the sexual orgasm. Hands down, the coolest thing the body can do. However, most of us are unaware of our sexual potential. The easy access to sexual images has not necessarily given us a greater understanding of these potentials and may even be making matters more confusing. These next pages are meant to bring some new understanding to the oldest of pastimes.

In my years of study and experience, I have come to see that there are four different types of sex. They are:

  1. Procreational Sex

  2. Recreational Sex

  3. Transformational Sex

  4. Restorational Sex

Let’s briefly look at each of these sexual classifications.

Procreational Sex

Procreational sex is sexual intercourse with the intent to have a baby.

In some parts of the world and some religious practices, procreational sex would be the only justifiable form of sexual expression. In our Western world, most of us would use this kind of sex sparingly and intentionally. If we don’t have an intent to have a child and we get pregnant, then it’s not procreational sex, it’s recreational sex with a surprise ending.

Recreational Sex

Recreational sex is any kind of consensual sexual activity that is engaged in for the express purpose of feeling good. Sex that is coerced or forced upon another against their will is not recreational.

Recreational sex takes up the greater part of our sexual experiences. Since a woman’s body has latent periods where she is not fertile, and sexual impulses come even at times when she isn’t ovulating, we can see that nature did not intend for sex to be only procreational.

For most people, recreational and procreational sex are the only kinds of sex they will know and experience in their lives. When we are sexually fulfilled, there may not be any reason to look further than these kinds of sex.

Transformational Sex

Transformational Sex is sexual activity enacted for the express purpose of opening up one’s being to more ecstatic states of consciousness. Simply put sexual experiences that take us right to heaven.

This type of sexuality takes the natural animal nature of Recreational Sex (which is based more on the reptilian and limbic brain) and expands it to include a more full-body, full-brain (neocortex) experience. Most adherents consider Transformational Sex as the merging of the sexual with the spiritual. In this way, the practitioners of Transformational Sexual practices begin to move into other realms of reality, perceiving themselves and their partners as more than mere mortals. In these ecstatic practices, men and women are the Gods and Goddesses they seek to worship. The body is a divine manifestation of the creator and this world is Heaven. One does not give their power away to something or someone outside themselves, but recognizes their body as a microcosm of the macrocosm; that the dance of all creation happens inside as well as outside of them.

The Shiva (Awakened Mind) and Shakti (Awakened Sexual energy) are Deities that live inside everyone. It is our birthright to be able to experience the union of these two lovers whose copulation takes us right to heaven. And it all happens inside of us. Even when we are with another person while this is happening, the dance happens inside the individual alone.

The greatest gift of Transformational Sex is freedom. Liberation from the ego-self. Release from the desperations, fears, and mundane pitfalls inherent in daily life and ego-based sexuality.

The first step on this journey of using sexual energy to transform us is to be in touch with our authentic selves. To be accepting of our own nature. We begin to see the body as equal to the mind and spirit. We respect another person’s body and nature as a part of creation, and therefore sacred. Judgments, comparisons, and preferences–the preoccupation of the ego-mind–are seen more clearly for what they are: vehicles that divide and separate us from ourselves and others. We begin to see from where all our suffering derives.

Restorational Sex


Restorational Sex is the fourth kind of sexual practice. I have listed it last because, as you will see, it is the one that benefits all three of the others.

This is a kind of sexual activity that we haven’t learned too much about in the West but is very popular in other cultures, especially Asian and Indian traditions. The teaching behind Restorational sex is that sexual energy can be used as a method to regenerate and rejuvenate the body and mind. Restorational sex’s main goal is to replenish generative and vital energies to the body, mind, and spirit and enhance overall health and well-being. It is the antidote for too much recreational and procreational sex and is the supporter of all transformational practices. For these reasons, we could say that Restorational sex is the foundation for health, longevity, and long-term potency as well as a catalyst to deeper ecstatic spiritual practices.

Restorative sexual practices help to bring back youthful desires and complexion in those who have depleted their generative energy over the years. This type of sexual practice can also be applied by those still in their youth to conserve their generative energy. This way one won’t age as quickly and won’t experience a lack of sexual energy later on in life.

Emperors in China wanted to live long enough to create a strong dynasty, but many had hundreds of wives and concubines who would deplete their life force through too much sexual activity. The Emperors turned to Taoist practitioners to help them maintain their youthfulness and help them find the secret to immortality. Restorative sexual practices became the solution to the Emperor’s problem and therefore a great deal of effort went into understanding and expanding these methods and practices.

All three of the other sexual practices rest on this one. If one’s sexual energy is not strong enough, it is difficult to experience sexual fulfillment, potency, powerful fertility, and spiritual illumination. Having a strong body and sexual potency enhances a couple’s chances if they want to have a baby. If a person’s sexual energy and performance are low, it diminishes the enjoyment of having great recreational sex. If a person’s sexual energy is depleted, it’s impossible to reach the heights of transcendental ecstasy. This is the reason many Taoists looked first to building and maintaining the body’s generative energies so that the joy of life could be experienced at any age.


To sum up the four different kinds of sex, we can categorize them as Procreational Sex is about creating another life; Recreational Sex is about having fun and relaxing; Transformational Sex is about connecting in a deeper way to yourself and/or your partner by bringing the sacred into the sex act, thus creating something akin to a religious experience; Restorational Sex is using sexual energy to revitalize and restore youthfulness, and its goal is longevity.

We each have our own journey. No person’s journey is more valid than another’s. This is why I would include all types of sex under the title of Tantra practices. The very nature of Tantra is to include, to weave together, all aspects of human life. There isn’t any act more spiritual than any other, as all acts are part of our Spirit’s journey. Life in the body is meant to be lived, not just to be an idea that is discussed and thought about. Heaven is here right now. We don’t have to die for it. We need to live for it.

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